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It's about time!

2008-08-07T05:29:00.000-07:00

Well everyone, I think it's about time this place grew up a little bit. So I went out and got an approriate domain name, and I am moving this site to Wordpress. Blogger has been nice enough to let me have this for free for awhile, but I know Wordpress much better and it runs well on my server.

So I will be setting it up over the next week or so and then try to import the close to 1000 posts from here to there. Should be interesting. By doing this it will allow me to have way more control and add and change pieces as I see fit.

Soul Caliber IV - With Darth Vader and Yoda!

2008-07-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I will have to be getting the Xbox 360 version of this game so I can play as Yoda! I still have my Nightmare figure from the first game, I wonder if they will put out a set for this one as well?

Top Spin 3 from 2K Sports

2008-07-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a little widget so you can check out Top Spin 3 from 2k Sports. I've always really enjoyed tennis games on consoles so hopefully this one will be good too. I'll have a review of it up as soon as I get a chance to play it.

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CALL OF DUTY 5 Trailer

2008-07-31T11:28:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait for this game, but I am a true COD lover. Wait, that's not meant to sound like that. I am talking about the game, not the fish.

Updates from My Gaming Life

2008-03-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Like most of the internet community, I haven't played WarCraft III: The Frozen Throne in a while. I last played competitively (read: seriously) on the East Coast about a year ago in an arranged 3 man team with two buddies from University. I was pleasantly surprised to find this update to the game when I went back and played on battle.net last week.

It occurred to me that FT was really the last game I was actually holding onto the disc for. The reason was that because battle.net required updates frequently enough to make a no-cd fix more inconvenient than not. But apparently even Blizzard has seen the light now. The use of a disc for anything beyond installation is truly a dead concept nowadays and I couldn't be happier dancing on its grave.

Normally I'm wary of anything that WIRED's gaming department starts fawning over, but the Experimental Gaming Project has many good hours of fun awaiting you. This screenshot is from one of the more popular games, Tower of Goo. Though the phrase "experimental" seems to mean that many of these things aren't really games. As opposed to actually breaking new ground in terms of gameplay, they're just offering you something that you haven't seen before. That said, whatever these are, they're amusing.

Tower of Goo, for example, I take as an allegory for humanity. You try to build goo up as high as possible, but inevitably it will wonkily collapse...leaving a taller and sturdier base for you to once again start building up from. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Until next time.

Nintendo - Pixels to 3D

2008-03-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

Tech Pimpin'

2008-03-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

Now, I don't usually like to write about gear and gadgets unless I'm being paid off. And I'm not. Unfortunately.

But because a number of very cool things have recently fallen into my possession, I feel the need to endorse them a little bit because...well...they're friggen awesome.

I have to link to ThinkGeek for this awesome device: the static electricity eliminator. Now, ten bucks might seem a little expensive for a key chain type product, but hell, I'm thinking about getting ten of them period. Basically, you touch this darling to things that you KNOW (or even think may...) give off a static shock and it will safely absorb it. As someone who works in a carpeted room with lots of electronics, this thing has been a godsend. It works on everything from light switches to USB ports.

Between not having the work with that feeling of dread around things you know will shock you (moments like that doorknob from Office Space) and the demented satisfaction you can get in actually destroying the static...it really could be the single best invention of the modern era.

Also, a little known deal is going on right now at Barnes & Noble.com, who have recently partnered with GameStop to try and get into the video game business. If you buy Unreal III for PC from them, you get a free copy of Unreal Anthology with it. For fifty dollars, that is crazy. Unreal Anthology includes UT2004 as well as all the old school Unreals. You really can't ask for more quality shooter action. I was literally about to pick up a copy of the Unreal Anthology for my girlfriend's computer and even eBay had me paying around twenty dollars for it. To get it for free with a reasonably priced UT3, both brand new with keys? Move over Orange Box.

I'll have a full report on UTIII in a little bit, but for now, let me just say one of the biggest problems, is that there's not enough people playing online...so get on it already!

5 Stupid Things About FABLE: The Lost Chapters

2008-02-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

I'd like to kick off what I hope will become somewhat of a series, with a game everyone can enjoy, Fable. It's made friends with both console and PC gamers, and it's generally considered to be very good, if not a must-play.

Also, my girlfriend has been playing this game non-stop. Add that exposure onto the fact that I've beaten the game three times myself - once as a bad character, once as a good character, once as a do-whatcha-feel-like character - and I feel like I know this game inside and out.

But with any playable game, there always seems to be nagging issues. Whether it's just OK, great, or even must-play classics. There is invariably stupid stuff that makes you wonder who beta tests this stuff. And it's in that spirit, I'd like to present, 5 Stupid Things About Fable. Since I have to encompass the whole game, serious spoilers do await ye. You've been warned.

5. Not being able to play Lady Grey like a suckah. Once you marry Lady Grey you can't expose her treachery to the world. This game is supposed to be open-ended for frag's sake. If you don't at least compete with Thunder to marry her then you can't get every silver key. I had to reload back ten save slots and over hours worth of game time just to get even with her. And you can't even kill her! I've managed to beat children to death in this game with my bear gauntlets and yet you can't take down the one nasty wench who deserves it.

4. The hidden treasure quest. Now, I'll admit. The whole thing is supposed to be a bit of a joke, since the holy grail turns out to be a bloody frying pan. But the weapon is still unique (it's still not the best, see #3) in that it's strong, fast, and can hold more augmentations than any other weapon in the game...unless of course you manage to solve the puzzle without all the clues. I actually played by the rules and figured out where to dig this thing up with only three clues during my first run of the game. The guild master acknowledges that I've done so without needing all the extra help...and the weapon is totally nerfed to be useless? What kind of logic is that? I mean really, what the hell? I'm punished for solving the riddle?

3. The best weapon in the game is sold next to red potions. In this game there's a sword stuck in a stone, swords hidden in treasure chests with multiple locks, and a sword that your arch rival and evil lord nemesis hunts your family to unlock the power of...and yet the best weapon in the game is bought in an item shop that you reach midway through the game. It's pretty ridiculous that you have nothing to look forward to from that point on, especially since the game makes such a big, dramatic deal out of the others. What a gyp.

2. The aging system. Dear lord, what a disaster. I don't see how anyone could play through all the main missions (forget about the side quests!) without ending up looking like a seventy year old man. Invariably, all of my characters became aged to a ludicrous degree before the game was even half over. You simply age way, way too fast. And this wouldn't be so much of an issue if it weren't for the fact that 99% of the other characters don't age at all! It's both sad and unintentionally hilarious/frustrating when Thunder mocks you as "boy" towards the end of the game since you've somehow magically aged to be his senior.

1. The free will choices. Most of the choices in this game are mind-bogglingly contrived. A simple yes or no, good or bad to be found at the same specific places in the game. This in itself wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that they've all been pre-designed to have minimal effect on the storyline. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Forget about trying to make a different set of choices because each choice is contained within itself and never affects another choice. In other words, bland and predictable. If you choose not to kill your sister, she suddenly decides to follow her own path and you never see her again. Choose not to kill Whisper and she decides to take an extended vacation...that's right you never see her again. Choose to kill Briar Rose - the only person capable of helping you reach your nemesis - and instead of having to do something else or some other quests - yes, that's right, Jack of Blades just blunders in with a voice over containing instructions on what to do. What?! Are you kidding me? Gah, that is so stupid.

Don't cry Fable, I'm only hard on you because I love you. Plus, there's always Fable 2 right? I hope you boys from Lion's Head are reading.

Microsoft showcases big Xbox 360 titles for 2008

2008-02-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

It's almost to the point where there is not enough time to play all the games that come out. Right now I am going strong with Call of Duty 4, Mass Effect and Devil May Cry 4. There are so many coming out this year that I want that I might just have to find more time to play games :)

Confirmed to be arriving this year for the Xbox 360 were a number of high-profile titles, including Too Human, Halo Wars, Ninja Gaiden 2, and Fable 2. A lot of attention was given to Ninja Gaiden 2, in particular, as Tomonobu Itagaki himself came on stage to demonstrate a GDC-specific build of the game. He also announced a North American release date for the title—June 3, 2008—as part of the June worldwide release plans.

- read more -

Call of Duty 4 + veteran difficulty = win

2008-02-21T06:08:00.000-08:00

Call of Duty 4, I think I like it

I am going to say something surprising here. I like Call of Duty 4. OK, that may be an understatement, and most people should already know that.

But I am not talking about the on-line part of the game, which is good but I am starting to tire of it. And this is coming from someone who played thousands of Call of Duty 3 matches on Xbox Live, mostly on the poisson level. I mean spending an entire night playing on just that level and never got bored of it. There just seems to be less... something. Maybe it's the players, maybe it's leveling system, but there seems to be no teamwork or tactics used at all. Anyway, maybe that another post.

Call of Duty 4 single player mode? What's that?

What I am liking right now is the single player mode. I know most people like me burned through it on regular just to get a feel for the game and then went right into the on-line mode and have not bothered to play the missions again. If this describes you, then I think you are missing out.

Here is how you fix it. Throw in your Call of Cuty 4 disc and choose single player. I know it is going to feel weird after playing 50+ hours of on-line but you can do it. Now choose the veteran difficulty. Now try to beat the game. Not so easy this time around is it?

The game totally changes and you get to see so much more of the levels. Plus you are going to have to think. No more running into battle, no more spray and pray. This time around everyone is smarter and harder to kill. Their aim is almost perfect. Throw a grenade at them and they will throw it right back if you haven't cooked it enough. You are going to die. Alot.

But this is the way it was meant to be played. Some warnings though. The levels are going to take you a lot longer. The frustration level in some parts is going to be very high. If you are prone to throwing your controllers, have a few spare ones handy.

Call of Duty 4 Veteran Tips

If you suck at these games, don't even try Call of Duty 4 on veteran difficulty
If you have anger or frustration problems, don't bother
Cook your grenades, they will throw everyone of them back at you
Most of the time, stick with your squad, they will take bullets for you
Don't forget your flashbangs, sometimes they will be the only thing that works.

So have you beaten Call of Duty 4 on veteran difficulty yet? Do you have any tips you can add for those still trying to beat it?

Guitar Hero III for PC Awfully Out of Tune

2008-02-19T22:07:00.001-08:00

Some would argue that if God had intended man to play Guitar Hero on PC that he would have included a damn current-gen wireless controller with the package.

Those people are probably right, but the die-hard PC gamer that I am, I was willing to overlook the wired X-plorer controller (complete with the bloody X-box logo on it!) that came with the PC set.

What I couldn't get past was the constant crashes, the poor online community, and the overall glitchy feel to the game. Even with patches, painful calls to tech support, and more hours spent troubleshooting software/drivers/hardware that I care to think about right now, I still couldn't get this nightmare of a port to work correctly. I had to finally send it back for a full refund. Get this - GameStop was willing to make an exception to their no returns on PC merchandise after hearing my story. Yes, it was THAT bad. GameStop.

So what did I learn in the last month and a half? You know, besides praying that Aspyr is never put in charge of any gaming product that you love.

PC gaming is not dying. It's being murdered. And it's crap like this that's killing it.

See, I generally get the reasoning behind all the money going into console gaming. Because it's cheaper and easier than building a gaming PC, you have a much wider audience to release to.
But then instead of treating the PC as a smaller, but unique market, developers are just looking at it as an afterthought. And it shows in the quality.

The exception is when games are developed specifically for PC. That's why Valve has actually been the one beacon of light with their Orange Box. Think of how sad a statement that is. The PC game of the year by most standards isn't even a single friggen game. It's just a collection of games that are fun...and work.

You have to give some kudos to 2k for the simultaneous-platform release of BioShock. It looked and played great on PC. Even if it was barely changed for platform specifics.

RockStar has also bucked the trend, but they don't really count since their background is in PC. You know GTA4 is going to rock for PC, but you also know that it's going to be six months late. Is that that price you have to pay for quality?

I guess so because otherwise the PC is left out in the cold. Mass Effect, Assassin's Creed, Halo 3, etc. It's beyond me why the biggest console games aren't immediately given quality PC ports, but with every half-ass attempt that goes by, the enthusiasm for doing so must dry up a little.

Yes, I know. There's still Crysis and Call of Duty 4, but it's not enough. I need to game at maximum efficiency and ports like Guitar Hero III are ruining my attempts.

I also realize there's a good argument to be made about why any self-respecting gamer would want to play the Guitar Hero series. I don't have a real answer for you, except that it's like when a buddy of mine played the Sims 2 for a couple of weeks straight to be elected mayor and become a self-made millionaire. To remind the non-gamer gaming community who's boss around these parts. Plus, okay, it's fun too.

Oh, and you know why I really, really have the urge to play Guitar Hero III right now?

Because I can't.

Pirates, Ninjas and Zombies... Oh my!

2008-02-15T08:03:00.001-08:00

Trying to kill Dead Rising?

2008-02-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows I love the game Dead Rising by Capcom, even though the whole 'text is too small' thing. Well now the people who own the right to dawn of the dead are trying to sue them. They should die.

"It appears as though the ongoing squabble between Capcom and and the owner of the film rights for Dawn of the Dead (both versions), which started back in 2006, is far from dead. The MKR Group, who owns the rights for both the original George A. Romero classic, as well as the 2004 remake, is planning to sue Capcom for copyright infringement based on its game Dead Rising. To combat this, Capcom is reaching out to the US courts to prove that they did not copy the films."

- read more -

A look at Spore

2008-02-14T06:08:00.000-08:00

This game just looks like it will either be absolutely fantastic, or a complete bore. I know I will be playing it to find out myself, anyone else going to pick it up?

It's been a long wait, but Spore is nearly here. Will Wright, one of the game industry's most fertile minds and the creator of the groundbreaking SimCity and The Sims, said Tuesday that his biggest project yet will be released worldwide Sept. 7.

Even though the premise sounds daunting (the game was originally called SimEverything), Wright said that it is first and foremost a casual game that everyone can enjoy. "From the outset, I wanted to make something that Sims gamers wouldn't be freaked out by," he said. "People who play for creativity and expression, I think, are the largest untapped part of the market."

- read more -

A Word Is Worth A Thousand Pictures

2008-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

I just found this site, and it looks alright. Although I do not play anything besides RTS games on a computer, I think I will continue to check it out. What do you think about this site? Link is to an article I liked disscussing graphics vs. narrative.

"This wordthink originally appeared in the Escapist. It’s an exercise in tackling the graphics vs narrative argument, which perhaps occasionally lapses into cliche. As you’ll see as you read through, I don’t necessarily agree with all my arguments - it was written in an attempt to create a thesis which would generate opposing antitheses. Together, we can reach synthesis. Discuss."

- read more -

The Origins of Your Favorite Video Game Friends

2008-02-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered why Mario is, well… Mario? Just like you and I have a story of how we came into existence, so do our two-dimensional video game favorites. Here’s a tribute to some of our faithful flat friends with whom we all have logged many an un-moving hour.

- read more -

Who is going to be hacked first?

2008-02-12T06:41:00.000-08:00

While I do admit I am a big Xbox fan, I was always curious to see what would become of the more open platform of the PS3. As most of us love to get things for free, I think having to pay for things like gamer pictures and backgrounds on Xbox Live is completely unacceptable. But I can see how locking down the Xbox 360 has advantages (not just money) as well. They can ensure that all content is safe for everyone and no jackass can ruin it for everybody.

Although I will say it again, having to pay for gamer pictures and themes is pure crap and a total money grab. I am sure there are tons of people that would be willing to make them for free.

Anyway, that is not what this is about. It got me thinking about how Sony is going the other way and making the PS3 very open (Very un-like Sony BTW). Which I think can be good in some ways, but what copying games? With an open system and a huge hardrive, it is going to be way easier for people to be able to play 'backup' copies of PS3 games.

I think the Wii and the Xbox 360 will be able to defend against this longer as since it is more difficult, why bother when you can just concentrate on hacking the PS3.

So what will happen once they figure out how to play downloaded 'back-ups' straight from the PS3 hard drive? I think they may start selling alot more consoles, but I don't think it will be a good thing for the game sales. Once people can download it for free, why would they bother paying?

I guess we will have to wait and see, but this generation of gaming sure is turning out to be an interesting one.

Review of Devil May Cry 4

2008-02-12T06:11:00.000-08:00

OK, I was going to just put the intro paragraph here so you could peek at it before going to read the whole review over at Ars, but this paragraph in the middle seems much more important. Go ahead and read it over, I'll wait...

"The women of Devil May Cry kick as much butt as the men, and in fact Dante's old friend Trish makes an appearance in the game. Of course, all the women have huge, heaving breasts that jiggle across your screen if a warm breeze hits them, and one fight sequence seems to focus almost entirely on a woman's crotch. In one scene a woman leans over a desk, and both Dante and the camera leer at her breasts, right before the camera actually zooms in on her butt. Luckily, her skirt is cut away to reveal her underwear. She apparently knew where that camera would be, and wanted to put on a show.

Fantasy is fantasy, and big-breasted women share the same exaggerated proportions as heavily muscled men in games like this, but the whole thing is so juvenile it becomes almost embarrassing. In the world of Devil May Cry, women take the sword to work and leave the underwear at home.

Wait until you see how one boss character lures you into a fight. Here's a hint: it involves twins. Sadly, I probably just sold more than a few people on the game."

I'm sorry, but where is the problem here? This is a Capcom game after all. You were expecting something else from them? Don't try to pretend like you don't like it. You are no more advanced than the rest of us guys. Unless of course you have lost your penis, then I am sorry for your troubles, but don't take it out on the rest of us. In short, we like boobs. OK, now go read the full review.

- Read Full Review -

Call of Duty 4 kicks award shows butt

2008-02-12T05:10:00.000-08:00

So, here is the list of winners from the Interactive Achievement Awards (part of the D.I.C.E. summit). Also included are bonus comments by me! What do you think?

Overall Game of the Year: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Agreed)

Console Game of the Year: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Agreed)

Computer Game of the Year: The Orange Box (Do people still play games on computers?)

Outstanding Innovation in Gaming: Rock Band (Never played it)

Handheld Game of the Year: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (Never played it)

Massively Multiplayer Game of the Year: World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade (I don't have time for these types of games)

Cellular Game of the Year: Skate (Never played it)

Role-Playing Game of the Year: Mass Effect (I love BioWare)

Racing Game of the Year: Motorstorm (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Game Design: The Orange Box: Portal (Never played it)

Adventure Game of the Year: Super Mario Galaxy (Worst game of the year)

Sports Game of the Year: Skate (Never played it)

Strategy/Simulation Game of the Year: Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars (Low Power? Again!?!)

Action Game of the Year: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Agreed)

Family Game of the Year: Rock Band (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Animation: Assassin’s Creed (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction: BioShock (Bioshock was ok)

Outstanding Achievement in Visual Engineering: Crysis (Never played it)

Outstanding Character Performance: The Orange Box: Portal (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Story Development: BioShock (Bioshock was ok)

Outstanding Achievement in Game Play Engineering: The Orange Box: Portal (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Online Game Play: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Hell yes!)

Downloadable Game of the Year: Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Original Music Composition: BioShock (Bioshock was ok)

Outstanding Achievement in Soundtrack: Rock Band (Never played it)

Outstanding Achievement in Sound Design: BioShock (Bioshock was ok)

House Cleaning

2008-02-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am cleaning up so this place may look different every time you visit until the end of February. If you have any ideas, comments, concerns or questions, please go ahead and drop us a line.

cramitwithwalnuts at gee male dot com ( got it? )

For Gamers, the Wii really does suck...

2008-02-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry to have to say it, but it does. I cannot understand why all these other gaming writers are praising the Wii and Nintendo right now. Just because there are still shortages does not mean it is any good. It means Nintendo is either horrible at manufacturing, or horrible at forecasting. It's like they are saying they can't beleive people are buying so many of these things, even they don't think it's that good.

Seriously though, I have tried many games for it. I play Wii sports. When it's too cold or too late to go outside for some excercise. All the other ones are just not that good. Zelda was boring, the story did not get me involved at all. I did not care about any of the charecters so why even bother?

And Super Mario Galaxy. What a over-hyped piece of junk. Just because it's Mario does not mean it is good. I took that one back the next day.

So I thought I would try and pass it off to my son. He's only 12 and he should like this thing right? He uses it to play gamecube games. He has also tried other games with me, and the novelty wore off just as quick for him.

This thing is for little kids, old people and Nintendo Fanboys. Anyone who has gaming as a hobby will quickly tire of this thing, and go back to Xbox 360 or PS3.

Perhaps when they were naming it, they meant 'Wee' as in for little kids and something got lost in translation.

Not to mention the truckload of crap games that Nintendo has allowed to be produced for the Wii. Whoever is in charge of allowing things like Ninja Breadman to actually be produced and sold should be drug out into the street and beaten with rubber hoses. What are they thinking? And why do these things NOT register with all the Nintendo fanboys? Do they really think truckloads of these crappy games are good?

I do think this thing could be good for two things. Party games, and excercise games. The motion controller would be great for either of these. Mario Party and other games like Wii sports.

I am sorry to have to write this, but really, nobody else seems willing to say anything bad about Nintendo or the Wii. But for Gamers, it really does suck...

3 new titles coming to Xbox originals Feb 11

2008-02-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

On Feb 11, 3 new game will be joining the Xbox originals line-up. The games are Ninja Gaiden Black, Sid Meier's Pirates! and Black. I did play the pirates game for quite awhile and remember enjoying it.

All of them are pretty good choices and will be available for 1200 points each.

Don't you wish your arcade was hot like mine?

2008-02-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

What would every gamer out there do if they had the cash and a spare 2400 square feet of space? Do what this guy did, and make there own arcade. Me = want.
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Peruvian Riot Police: Ass-kicking Armour

2008-02-05T06:01:00.000-08:00

I wonder if we can order these suits of armour? Apparently the designers of the Peruvian riot police armour read a lot of comic books. Very nice.
- read more -

A trip down memory lane: A look back at some great games.

2008-02-05T05:43:00.000-08:00

This is a nice read if you are around 30ish as it talks about some pretty old games. It was a nice trip down memory lane, I loved playing Zelda 2: the adventure of Link. I think I played that more than any other game on the NES.
- read more -

Xbox Live: Top 10 Call of Duty 4 Complaints

2008-02-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

Call of Duty 4 is a great game. I really do enjoy it and have played through the campaign more than once. That is saying a lot as I did COD3 once and then went straight to online and never went back.

But it does have it's flaws, especially when playing on-line. Here are the top ten complaints I have experienced or heard while playing Call of Duty 4 on Xbox Live.

10. "Fuck! I fucking hate snipers! Who uses snipers on this level anyway?".

9. The bullets in your clip randomly get switched for marshmellows, as I swear sometimes I put at least 85 bullets in someone and they refuse to die.

8. A lot of the time, I hear that my teammates respawned either inside the barrel of an enemy gun, or sitting on a grenade.

7. "Would someone please shoot down that damn helicopter?".

6. Even if you throw a grenade right in the guys mouth, it won't kill him. But if he shoots your foot with a BB gun you instantly explode, and will continue to explode for your next 3 respawns.

5. "What the hell? I guess that guy has super bullets that can shoot through anything!".

4. The enemy can always get to secret places that you can't, which is totally cheating.

3. "God damn grenade rain!".

2. If you vote off the current level because it sucks, it will always get replaced with one that is worse.

1. "Stupid Juggernaut pussies! Juggernaut is so gay, only gay pussies use it".

Xbox 360 Elite Laptop... wait, what?

2008-02-04T05:36:00.000-08:00

I do like seeing whatever Ben comes up with next, even though to me a lot of it looks like it would not be that useful. But this, this is one I think I would want. Actually, I know I would want it. Xbox 360 in laptop format. Fantastic. Think of how easy it would be to travel with it. I wonder if he would sell me one? - read more -

PS3: Back in black...

2008-01-31T05:48:00.000-08:00

Its game business swung to a profit after Sony cut production costs and retail prices of the PlayStation 3 game console and broadened its game software lineup in a bid to catch up with Nintendo’s Wii and Microsoft’s Xbox 360 - read more -

Xbox 720? PS14? Nintendo Pii?

2008-01-31T05:41:00.001-08:00

So what exactly is this? It looks like it might be any one of the above. But with it's one vibrating controller, it's sure to be a hit. Even though it is just a random vibration that has nothing to do with what game you are playing. Awesome! - read more -

Super Mario Galaxy = Fail

2007-11-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

I know what you are thinking, but really, it's not that good. Mario 64 was much better.

I don't know what is up with every other gaming reviewer giving this game good marks. I would be impressed if this came out on the Nintendo 64, but this just not pass today.

I'm not going to spoil any of the story for those of you that still want it, as it is Mario and I know a lot of people love Mario games. But this time, I don't think that just because it's Mario that it should be considered good.

Now I will be honest with you. I've only played for just under 2 hours. But this is coming from someone who has no problem playing the same game for 10 hours straight. I was bored with it after less than 2 hours.

I am really starting to regret buying this Wii and I just might sell it to someone this x-mas. First Zelda, and now Mario? What is going on here?

It could be that my tastes are just too old for the Wii. I want something to keep my mind entertained and pretty colours and cute sounds don't do it anymore. I want my games to invoke some sort of emotion, just not anger for how crappy the game is.

One more thing I should mention is the dizzy factor. You will be spending a lot of time spinning the screen around and after a little while it started to make my stomach turn at a few points and my girlfriend (Who is a mario lover and still plays mario all the time) could not watch it any more. I was quite suprised by this as I can play any other game with no troble like this at all.

To sum it all up, I was dissapointed again by a Wii game made by Nintendo. The only game I like on it so far is Resident Evil 4, but I love Resident Evil and I already owned it for the gamecube. Maybe I will have to go out and get Manhunt 2 and see if this Wii can impress me yet, or maybe someone can recommend something?

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

2007-11-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

Over the last few weeks, when I am not playing Halo 3 or Call of Duty 3 multiplayer, I've been squeezing in some time with Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Nintendo Wii. I know I am a little late to the party with this one, but I also just got a Wii so bare with me while I catch up with all the 'must-play' games.

Now I was planning on sitting down and running right through the entire game, but I just could not keep myself interested enough. I'm sorry to say it but once I was near the end of the game I just couldn't be botherd anymore. I got really repetitive and I just wanted to see the rest of the story without having to do the boring 'playing' of the game.

I mean the story was alright, I like the world of Zelda, but maybe I am just too old to stay interested anymore. I don't want to have to worry about some stupid little kids anymore. I want some older story lines. I want someone to die. I want some betrayal and some suspense. Keep the story entertaining enough that I want to play the game to get to see it.

So I am taking it back to blockbuster tonight... unfinished. I am currently in the water temple and I have just grown bored of these stupid dungeons. Give me an epic battle, give me something worth caring about enough that I will beat this dungeon. Give Link some dialogue already! Why does he not speak? Why the hell do I want to play as this guy when he has no personality at all?

I will quit rambling now, I just expected a whole lot more from Nintendo and from the Zelda franchise.

6 more months until SPORE!

2007-10-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

I know, I'll beleive it when I see it too, but at least we can hope it's true.

"We've had to do a lot of testing to make sure that the game is accessible by a wide group of people", Wright went on to explain. "I want the people who have played The Sims to be able to play Spore—I don't want it to be some thing just hardcore gamers play."

Full story on Ars

Microsoft Blames Hollywood for Record Halo3 Sales...

2007-10-23T06:01:00.000-07:00

Not sure what to think of this, but they are right about the shit coming out at the movies right now...

"We thought we'd get some good sales, but nothing like this," said Microsoft executive Bob Frederickson. "But with escalating ticket prices and the crappy movies Hollywood has been putting out. People are just hungry for entertainment."

Frederickson added that the record sales for Halo 3 have also caused booming sales for Xbox console as well as other Xbox accessories. "Gee thanks, Ben Stiller, with all this business our guys haven't gotten much rest."

Frederickson showed some internal data that demonstrated how an actually funny movie from Ben Stiller would've impacted sales. "This data shows a quality comedy starring Ben Stiller and not just some movie trying to recapture the "Something About Mary" magic, would've dampened Halo 3 sales by 10%. A movie where Charlize Theron appears nude would've decreased sales by 35%," said Frederickson

Click here for full story

Bungie getting ready to frag cheaters...

2007-10-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

Well, this is some good news. For some of us it is. For those of you that have been cheating in multiplayer Halo 3 matches, you may not be in such a good mood soon. Apparently Bungie has been watching you, and they are a little bit annoyed.

There are those of you doing things you shouldn’t be in Halo 3. Some of you have gotten a little too famous for your own good. This ain’t a church and there is no redemption or salvation once you have been judged. Apologies are now officially too late to save you.

The storm approaches.

Love, Bungie

It might not come right out and say it, but I think there are going to be a few less players in Halo 3 pretty soon.

I am happy Wii could get one...

2007-10-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

Get it... Wii... I know...

Anyway, I would just like to take a second and announce that I finally went out and got a Wii. It was not a hard decision, I just wanted to make sure that I had the time to play it. Well I have cleared up a bunch of wasted time in my day because I really wanted to get back into playing games, and working on my sites, including this one.

Now I have some larger plans that this site will be a part of. I'm not sure if this one will be expanded, or merged with another yet, but there will be changes. Either way I will have enough time now to post regularly and hopefully get a few of you to come back.

Anyway, right now I am playing Zelda for the Wii and I am liking it. I will review it when I am done, along with the Wii itself and Wii Sports.

I am also taking suggestions on games to get for it!

Review - Deus Ex: Invisible War

2007-09-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

It was hard going into Deus Ex: Invisible War with an open mind. Fans of the now classic original look at this as less of a follow-up and more of a Deus Ex for Dummies. Though it would’ve been impossible to live up the hype, the consensus seems to be that this sequel is one of the biggest let downs in gaming.

The good news is that Deus Ex: Invisible War is nowhere near as bad as you’ve been led to believe. The graphics are a huge step up and the physics are a welcome addition to the Deus Ex world. The soundtrack is great, and relevant to the themes at hand. The gameplay is true to the first entry, with plenty of opportunities to choose between sneaky, ballsy, or both. The weapons from the original are mostly all back and the modification system is a step forward. I found the new tranq-darts particularly fun as they remain lodged in your opponents while injecting their glowing sleepytime medicine.

Though most of them probably quit playing after the first or second mission, there’s actually plenty of material for fans of the original to look for. In-jokes, revisited locations, and plenty of story-related references to the first game. All these things will make Deus Ex: Invisible War an interesting play for Deus Ex veterans who are willing to stick it out for the long run.

Common complaints about the in-game HUD and universal ammo system are almost totally warrantless. If your game is patched up to 1.2, the HUD can be adjusted so that it’s completely unobtrusive – and you’ll still be left with a cool eye-style selection menu. The universal ammo system is actually a good idea and would’ve been looked on as an improvement if only the rest of the game showed as much innovation. The real issue is that your ammo is capped at a relatively low level so that you’ll often have to pass up on extra clips you can’t carry, only to need them a couple minutes later. So yes, there are flaws.

The bad news is that fifty million French gamers can’t be wrong: Invisible War doesn’t hold a candle to the original. The long load times are really jarring and make the annoying load-transitions from the first look seamless. The RPG-style skill point system of its predecessor is sorely missed here. The game also suffers from a real feeling of emptiness. If anything, this is something that should have been improved on for the sequel, but instead, it’s much worse here. A dance club section has about three patrons in it. You’ll walk through “cities” without seeing people in every direction, and there’s nary a crowd in the entire game. This isn’t helped by the claustrophobic feel to most of the level designs. Even the most guarded areas in the game didn’t have enough live enemies for my tastes.

Now, that may be due to the fact that the game is so very easy. Those who have already tackled Deus Ex will find this game to be a breeze. Most of my re-loads were due to experimentation, not because I was challenged by opposition. Even on the hardest setting, vets will glide through this one effortlessly. And it’s not just the enemy AI and damage amounts, there’s a real lack of problem-solving depth that the first one cleverly employed at almost every turn. However, the more you compare Invisible War to Deus Ex, the worse things get.

The voice acting is atrocious. The infamous Louis Pan from Deus Ex might as well be on par with Lawrence Olivier compared to what you get here. The blank-faced, wobbly animation doesn’t help either. While JC Denton was appropriately robotic without giving up badass attitude, Deus Ex: Invisible War suffers countless stiff personalities who are mostly, supposedly human. And that’s to say nothing of recurring characters whose voices are painfully and inexplicably different from the first game. Worse still, the motivations of the original characters making a return here all seem totally in opposition to how they acted in the first game.

In fact, the storyline in Invisible War is worthy of special mention. Not because it’s bad (it is), but because the first Deus Ex offered three potential endings. If you thought those were anticlimactic, then get ready to be impressed. Without giving anything away, Invisible War starts off presuming that all three endings happened. Such logic sets up for an awkward continuation and a very disappointing finale.

Ultimately, Invisible War is one step forward and two steps back for the series. Luckily, Deus Ex was so far ahead of its time that you’ll still be in for a fun ride. But not one that you’d want to go on a couple of times like the first. Even with a good deal of variation left to play around with on a 2nd run, my enthusiasm for playing through this entire game again is pretty low. Instead, one is really left hoping that the upcoming third entry come out soon and kick things back into a higher gear.

Hey, Game Developers, Bring it On!

2007-08-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe isn't it? It's been a little over ten years since Duke first offered up cash-for-flash to those infamous pixelated pole dancers. It was a great moment for pushing the envelope in a relatively new medium. And if you ask me, these moments have been far too few in recent years.

Sure, we've had the Hot Coffee scandal for GTA:SA, but instead of standing by their own, Rockstar did everything it could to please the uninformed soccer moms of America. From half-hearted apologies and patches to firing employees. Of course, the ultimate irony is that a crude depiction of consensual sex is Adults Only, but beating prostitutes to a bloody death with a baseball bat is Mature so long as everyone has bits of clothing over the naughty parts. But that's neither here nor there. The ESRB has always been destined to be as corrupt and arbitrary as the MPAA.

The problem is that with all the negative media attention, political talking points, and the incorporation of the industry, there's this great fear of offending people...you know, the people that don't play video games.

I read a little while back that Bethesda has already decided to take children out of Fallout 3. While most of the interviews on it don't even have a straight explanation, it's clear that we've got a perfect example of a big company afraid of taking risks. And by risks, I mean doing things that would keep faithful to the series. No self-respecting Fallout fan would say, yes, it's okay to take children out of the game because some people might kill them. But I digress, this isn't all about Bethesda.

This is about how the industry as a whole has grown too slick and polished. When all they really need to do is a grow a pair. Wired just posted a perfect summary of what is wrong with the rating system. This game, like an increasing amount of others, is going to be gutted for content because gaming is becoming too mainstream. Game stores not stocking games because of content? Are you kidding me? Sony not wanting to be affiliated with gratuitous violence and nudity? Are these guys delusional? That's how you built this empire!

I played BLOOD when I was eleven years old and nobody complained. It only made me stronger. A part of me wants to blame this on the console wars, because ultimately, the console version of a PC game is always watered down. Developers who feel they have to hit every system and PC at the same time to turn a profit means that the only medium to suffer will be the one with no roof. But even without consoles, it still seems like PC games are getting wussier thanks to the big productions they're being made into.

In closing, what I'm saying is, game makers: please, do something shocking. Make something that's both ridiculously good and gratuitous. I'm getting bored, guys. If anyone has some good recommendations for me, please don't hesitate to bring them to my attention. I'm waiting for the BioShock demo to finish downloading right now, so I've got a good three or four days to kill.

UPDATE: At this point, I've played through and beaten BioShock. It's more ballsy than Bethesda, but it's still not good enough. We all knew the game was overhyped, big deal. It was fun, but it's not going to revolutionalize anything in gaming. A full review will follow, once I play through it again, doing some different things.

Storytime for Gamers

2007-07-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I was having a conversation about upcoming games with a fellow who lamented that “StarCraft 2 will probably be awesome, but the storyline is bound to suck.” I quickly agreed with him, but I didn’t add that the story for Brood War sucked. Nor did I mention that I didn’t really care. It’s not about the story. But maybe I’m in the minority here…the minority of gamers who aren’t delusional.

I mean, this kind of sentiment isn’t out of left-field. I’ve talked to more than a handful of gamers who honestly believe that at least in some way, a solid storyline is a must-have.

I just want to reach out, grab these guys by the collar and shake them: it’s the gameplay, stupid! Nobody would argue that classics like Super Mario Bros. or Legend of Zelda weren’t great games because of their practically non-existent (and now that I think about it, almost identical) storylines of running through castles to save princesses. You can name hundreds, if not thousands of classics with poor-to-no storylines, but now the argument seems to be that since today’s games have evolved to be more complex in every other aspect, you can’t leave story behind and skimp on the plot.

Bouldercrap. Of course you can. Let me explain it with an analogy everyone can appreciate: ice cream. Saying you can’t have a great game without a great story is like saying you can’t have a great sundae it’s in a golden cup. It’s completely irrelevant. If the sundae is delicious, it’s delicious. If the cup it’s in looks nice too, then okay…cool cup. But if they sundae sucks and you’ve got a great cup to put it in, nobody gives a damn.

I know people are ready with arguments that we are just seeing the emergence of the potential that video games have to tell a story. They’ll compare the storylines of today’s games to the stories you have in the first twenty-odd years in film. That is to say, embarrassingly simple. But this theory has a serious flaw. From the beginning, film as an art has been solely to tell stories. Video games were about creating an interactive experience. I know I’m not the only gamer who gets itchy thumbs waiting for eye-candy cut screens to roll by.

Bottom line is that a toaster has the potential to tell great stories too. They could be manufactured with hand-drawn murals and could have coding that burns an image onto each piece of toast. But nobody would give a damn because that’s not what the use a toaster for. Look, if you expect the storylines of video games to one day rival classic works of literature then I can’t help you. Ultimately there's no reason why can't enjoy most of the same games. But uh...

Remember that guy from Boogie Nights who had starry-eyed dreams of creating a porno that people would watch for the story? Yeah, you’re him but with a baseball cap and loose-fit jeans.

Teats & Trailers

2007-06-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

With so much teat-suckling to be done at the altar of epic upcoming sequels, I'd be remiss not to mention that Rockstar has thrown us another bone. It's the SECOND official teaser trailer for GTA4. It's some good, hardcore fluff. I want to play this game so badly...so badly that I almost forgot how us PC fans are going to get screwed again while Rockstar suckles the console teat for as long as possible before releasing a superior PC version half a year later. Good thing CJ rocks a high replay value. - DS

Peggle Review

2007-06-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

In the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. So it must be that in the valley of internet flash games, PopCap is king. Games like Bejeweled and Bookworm have helped the brand become ubiquitous - no small task on the world wide web. But then again, PopCap has had a Bill-Gates-like ability to push forward and succeed. That is to say, they stole everything they could get their hands on. Zuma was ripped almost verbatim from a Japanese puzzler and games like Bonnie's Bookstore and Chuzzle are essentially glorified clones of their own successful in-house titles.

Today, I'm here with a review of their current #1 title, and one of their more recent releases, Peggle Deluxe. But if you've played PopCap games then you know that a lot of what I'm about to cover is applicable to most of their releases.

Peggle plays like a combination of Pachinko (or Plinko, for Bob Barker fans) and Breakout with a Bust-A-Move cherry on top. In the game's own words, it's "like a game where there's a ball and you hit it with flippers". You have ten shots to clear a given level of all "orange" pegs. You're rewarded for high scoring shots (or shots that hit a moving target that constantly pans back and forth at the bottom of the screen) with an extra ball. Each level has one of ten Arkanoid-reminiscent special abilities that help you achieve this goal. At first glance, the game looks pretty complicated by PopCap standards. And while there are a couple of subtleties to discover about the scoring system, it's actually like most other PopCap games in that it takes only around fifteen seconds to learn and about fifteen minutes to become addicted. They should really think about changing the brandname to PopCrack.

Like most PopCap titles, it features a couple different modes of play. Adventure Mode actually plays like an extended tutorial, where you learn to use every special ability in the game before a final challenge round. Once you're done with Adventure Mode, the other modes allow you to choose the special ability that you prefer for a board. You should be able to tackle this in a day or two easily - and you'll need to since the other modes all need unlocking to at least some degree. Quick Play simply allows you to practice individual boards that you've already beaten. Duel Mode puts in a competitive angle where you can play against another person (which is kind of silly because they have to be in the same room) or a computer (which is kind of silly because it's not as fun). In short, Duel Mode is really a wasted opportunity for Netplay, but at least it's a change of pace. Finally, Challenge Mode offers a number of different tasks from earning high scores to completing levels with only two shots. This is where the game gets really tough - and interesting. A lot of time could be spent here earning some hard fought lunch hour bragging rights.

Par for the PopCap course in Peggle are the colorful, yet shamefully low-res graphics and an overall game design that looks like it was headed up by your tacky aunt who collects lawn ornaments and holiday-themed sweaters. I was half surprised not to see my fourth grade teacher in the credits for this game. There's also a couple of recycled SFX and two strange choices of public domain music that don't really fit with the rest of the soundtrack. The ridiculous magical characters who guide you through the "Peggle Institute" walk a fine line between over-the-top and unintentional humor. Mercifully, there's no real story to speak of so the personalities don't come into play much. The replay feature of Peggle is easily the best addition that it boasts over its other PopCap siblings. The ability to keep records of your best shots for re-viewing will save you the trouble of wide-eyed explanations to your co-workers about how they JUST WON'T BELIEVE THIS AWESOME SHOT I JUST MADE MAN!

It's no secret that PopCap makes their games simple and addictive - the surprise is that you'll still get hooked knowing all this in advance. Part of the beauty of what PopCap does is that they don't pretend to want to compete with "real" games. No gamer in his right mind is going to opt for Peggle over Gears of War. But then you've got a few spare minutes and end up saying to yourself: "Ah, I'll just play a little Peggle before loading up WOW for the night." Four hours later you're still guiding a little ball around magic pegs while your clanmates are wondering where the hell you are.

PopCap may be a one-trick pony, but damn they do that trick well, and we keep on wanting to see it. Peggle will give you a strong feeling of having been there and done that all before, but it will give you an even stronger feeling of wanting to do it again. So pick it up if you need to kill a couple of minutes...just a couple more minutes....I'm serious...one more round...just a few more minutes...

3 out of 4 Joysticks Up

-DS

Scarlett Fever

2007-06-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

It's safe to say that in this modern world that we live in, the highest pinnacle you can reach is sleeping with Scarlett Johanson. You see her gushed over everywhere from check-out aisle gossip rags aimed at stay-at-home-moms to chan fanboy messageboards aimed at stay-at-home-basement-nerds. Apparently she's an actress. But you wouldn't know from reading half the stories about her. Oh well, far be it from me to deny the people what they want. So for everyone who isn't Benico Del Torro, here's your CramIt eye candy. High-res and low-reality. - DS

sIghGoogle

2007-06-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know. Google's classic promise to never operate on the dark side has been proven poppycock a number of times before. I should be over it. But the brilliant execution of iGoogle only keeps me feeling Devil's-Food-Cake-guilty

In an era when every search engine from Excite to AltaVista was convinced that "more was more" when it came to cluttering a search page with useless, confusing crap, Google was the first to step in and bring out a plain-ass design that happened to work better and load twice as fast. So was the beginning of the new Microsoft. Since then, everyone from Ask(Jeeves) to ChaCha has plain ripped-off Google's layout. But now, with iGoogle, Google has broken their own innovation by taking one step back and two steps forward. It's Back to the Crap again, but like everything else that already exists, Google has done it better.

And that's what makes them so damn scary. They are now grown-up and evil like the other big-boy tech players, but with one key difference: they are competent. Google continues to bring only quality to the table. iGoogle is just another victory in a string of unlikely triumphs. Also, they bought YouTube.

The review? Well, it's fully customizable in a way that makes sense, looks good, and offers more options than anyone else. Thanks to the fact that Google is already my homepage - and that one I, like most people, just go to on pure instinct at this point - it's even more convenient. Now I have immediate updates on the obscure websites I visit, local weather that seems to be as accurate as my Firefox ext. only with fewer resources, e-mail alerts: both Gmail and Yahoo...jeez, I even signed into CIWW to post this with the help of Google.

I've been telling myself that I used iGoogle this week just to test it out, as a trial thing...but who am I kidding? I'm going to keep using it. Google is still the same old effective Google, but now you can play Flash Pac-Man right on the same page while you think of what it was that you wanted to search for. God help us all.

Dropping the Big One: Fallout 3

2007-06-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

I tell ya: when it rains, it pours. Right on the heels of StarCraft II mania, we have the new Fallout 3 trailer this week. Expectations are running so high for both of these games that it’s rather fitting for them to take their first public breaths together. Though the combined antici....pation is killing me, I’m expecting two very different things.

After checking Blizzard a couple of days ago amidst the SC2 hoopla, I have to admit that I’m kind of relieved to see a trailer for FO3. I’ll tell you why. As tired as everyone was of waiting for SC2, there was always this feeling that come hell or high water, there would be a SC2 eventually. Even if it took another ten years. The nature of the business (if it makes dollars, it makes sense – say it aloud again, you’ll get it) pretty much assured that a sequel would be released. In fact, fans were practically ready to make the damn thing themselves. The Fallout games, while popular, never enjoyed that same kind of safety net.

First it was bounced from Interplay and then Black Isle Studios disbanded. Somewhere along the way a half-finished product was abandoned and then scrapped once the project was picked up again by Bethesda. Throw in enough rumors to push Page Six onto Page Eight and you’ve got a scary time filled with unreliable sources, vague promises, and Photoshop-uncertainty-hell. Fallout fans have been waiting a long time for this, and the waiting room was a lot colder and scarier than the one for a more mainstream blockbuster like SC2. FO3 was always part of a…well…cult-blockbuster lineage.

Bottom line: there are more people who love StarCraft, but there is more love among the people waiting for Fallout 3. They don’t want this game screwed up. Fallout 2 is easily one of the best sequels of all time: it expanded on everything that was good about the original, upped the graphics where appropriate without losing the feel, and made the game bigger. It’s practically textbook for what gamers want in a sequel. And yet in the wrong hands, the Fallout series could easily be turned into an MMORPG-styled hell. It’s like the mug says, buddy: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Judging by the trailer (and that’s really all we’ve got to go on) Bethesda understands this sacred Fallout motto. They’ve proven that, at least in terms of a cinematic, they can do what Black Isle did with the original Fallout. Granted, I was just as suspicious of Black Isle Studios when I first heard any name that wasn’t Interplay in connection to Fallout 2. I’ve heard from a couple of gamers that Fallout 3 is in good hands with Bethesda, but that isn’t good enough for me. Fallout is my baby and only Bowflex results are going to really change my mind. Still, this a promising sign, and an official one at that. Both have been few and far between on the road to Fallout 3.

-DS

P.S. - Fall '08? What the hell? Don't they mean Fall '07? God, they're killing me.

Are you back from the dead yet?

2007-06-07T05:45:00.001-07:00

No, but I am getting there. Most people have noticed the lack of activity over the past few months. Well, I've been busy. Life has a way of doing that to you. I have other sites I ran and am building, and they are to make money. This one is for fun. Sometimes you have to take the money, especially when you are broke.

But now I am trying to make time and I am almost there. You may have noticed our newest writer Dan. I hope you like the stuff he writes, and if not you know what you can do.

StarCraft II Late (Say it outloud...you'll get it.)

2007-06-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

Face it: StarCraft is the philandering husband who we loved madly for a couple of years until he got up and left one night without warning. Now almost ten years later, he’s back on our doorsteps: unshaven, stinking of booze, and sporting lipstick marks all over his face.

Unlike so many gamers ready to be whisked away again, I’m not some two-bit whore ready to run right off with him. I went through all the stages. I cried, I begged, I got angry, and finally, I moved on with my gaming life. It’s not to the point where StarCraft has some ‘splainin’ to do. It’s way past that point. He’s got to earn my love and respect all over again. I don’t care who the game is or what we once shared.

Blizzard Entertainment has gone so far as to proclaim “Hell, it’s about time.” Now that’s got to be on the short list for understatements of the decade. When a bumbling corporate giant is willing to publicly admit that much, it says a lot about what the reality is. It’s not about time. It’s way, way, past the time in a galaxy far, far, away.

Blizzard showing up nearly a ten years later with StarCraft II and then trying to chuckle it off with “Hell, it’s about time” is not enough for me. Imagine a group of paramedics smoking pot for a week before showing up to a major highway tractor-trailer accident with the same line. You can connect the metaphor however you want: StarCraft Ghost could be either the getting-high-waste-of-time or it could be the car wreck disaster.

Yes, they’ve got a slick new website with two awesome trailers (one gameplay, one cinematic) that will both make fans wet themselves with tears or otherwise. Yes, they've got amazingly sexy concept art and screenshots that are both as pretty as they are unnecessary. Yes, they've got everything but the game. And that’s one of the worst parts about it if you ask me. The industry has changed so much from the original StarCraft days. With the ridiculous hype and the calculated release of more and more tidbits, gamers are being groomed to love the thing before it even comes out.

It’s not Blizzard’s fault that they’re sitting on arguably the most anticipated video-game sequel of all time, but I for one miss the days when this kind of garbage wasn’t necessary or even wanted. People played the original StarCraft because it beat the hell out of Command & Conquer. Now it’s like people are ready to play StarCraft II just because they have warm memories of Grandma pouring homemade syrup over the original.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this fact has been lost on Blizzard. That’s why they didn’t seem to think twice before slapping fans in the face these past years with the joke project that was StarCraft Ghost, with the crappy novels that only cosplay fans want to read, with the non-sensible bake-sale and art contests…they flat out missed their chance to strike while the iron was hot. They had the attention of the entire gaming world and they choose to diddle it away in every conceivable fashion, starting with the totally unnecessary project to re-release all their classic games for gameboys.

What’s worse is that they have no fear of failing to live up to the original. Rightly so. They don’t even have to. They could release the game in demo stage and still break sales records. The fact that we’re stuck with the same number of units and no new races makes me worry that Blizzard hasn’t been masterful in concealing the development of the game so much as they’re just cutting corners on what should be by now the Godfather II of epic video game sequels.

We called down the thunder years ago and the whirlwind is only now upon us - Blizzard seemed too happy to let Father Time steal their thunder. Gone are the days when Bill Roeper could clap his hands and have me do a little jig. Hell, gone are the days of Bill Roeper.

Bottom line: they need to smack this one out of the park and all I want from the gaming community is to hold Blizzard to that standard. It's like the saying goes: I criticize her most harshly because I love her most passionately. So SC lovers and ex-lovers alike: let’s not all jump up from the stands in celebration before opening day. Because if SC2 sets a good example, then there’s still hope for Duke Nukem Forever and Fallout 3.

-DS

P.S. What's this bullshite I hear about Battle.net possibly having a monthly fee for SC2? Blasphemy! Also, stay tuned for updates on that.

Y Halo Thar

2007-06-05T16:49:00.001-07:00

Like a man in Altered Beast once said: rise from your grave(s). If you're reading this, then it means you're still checking CIWW on a pretty regular basis and have surely noticed the lack of updates and/or breasts, depending on what you come for. Possibly both, but more likely the latter.

Well, don't despair. The J-man has handed over a set of spare keys to yours truly, Mr. Dan Scog. You might be familiar with my work on RetroJunk.com...well, okay, no you won't, but rest assured, I'm a experienced professional.

Did I say professional? I meant unemployed freelancer.

That is to say, I'm not getting paid by any of the companies that makes these games, gadgets, or breasts so you can expect my 100% honest opinion on everything I write. No matter how wrong it is, you can rest assured that it's not influenced by anything other than my own idiocy.

Now that I've taken the CIWW oath, you can look forward to being disappointed on a regular basis by my uncensored musings and new stream of updates in the very near future. And I'm sure J himself will be chiming in again before you know it. Until then, you know where to stick them.

-DS

I know, I've been a slacker...

2007-05-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

But I have been working on setting up another project which has taken up a lot of my time. This will be updated again soon enough I promise, but if you have spare time and want to fill in as a guest poster just let me know.

Death warmed over...

2007-03-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

Not my fault... really... life went upsidedown... moved, no connection, no Xbox Live for a long time! Connection restored, life goes on, TMNT arcade goodness... Things will continue now...

Windows vs. Linux vs. OS X

2007-01-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

This is why people will never switch to Linux over Microsoft and Apple other than in very small numbers. Take a quick peek at this article. It is basically a few users comments on those 3 operating systems. The people who rated Vista told us exactly what they liked about it. Very good. Then you get to the "Linux People".

And it's these people that are the reason that Linux is not more common. The whole thing is basically bashing windows. How it does everything better, looks better, will save your children from a fire faster. It is this reason why people look at Linux like it's only from fanboy crazed computer geeks. Linux users are it's own worst enemy.

-| Full story on the BBC |-

PGR3 Looks Better than Gran Turismo 4?

2007-01-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

Apparently so as they are using screens from PGR3 in an ad for GT4. I guess Sony is not listening to anyone regarding our suggestion to shut the hell up. Shut your employees up, shut your marketers up, shut your suppliers up, shut your partners up. Nobody talks, you can not afford any more embarrassment. Or just go all the way and use a picture of the Nintendo DS to promote the PSP2. Idiots.

-| Full story on Ars|-

Dear Sony, Shut up and Dance!

2007-01-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

We all know that Sony dropped the ball with the PS3. Actually, they dropped a lot of balls lately. It must sound like a basketball court in Sony land. But is all lost? Does the PS3 and Sony have any hope left? Of course they do, but they may have to swallow their pride, admit some mistakes and set some things right first. So let’s take a look at what they can and cannot do.

Blu-ray. Too late to do anything about that besides a total recall which will not happen. They took a huge gamble with this, trying to force Blu-Ray on the masses and they should have known it’s not needed. Neither is HD-DVD in my opinion. DVD should have been the last optical media we needed. Hard drives and flash is big enough and almost cheap enough to do the job, just let us download everything already. Getting back on topic, PS3 are stuck with Blu-Ray and its high costs.

Content. Ultimately this is where all the decisions are made right? How many Xbox 360’s did Microsoft sell because of Gears of War? How many more will the sell when Halo 3 hits? With Sony having a year on Microsoft to get their dev tools and hardware right, they should be stomping all over the Xbox 360. But where are the games? When was the last time you even read about a PS3 game? With their competition already entrenched Sony needed to come out swinging hard. Instead they tripped and they are taking their sweet time to get back up. If they have any great content ready, they need to get it out now.

Hardware Scaler. The Sony hardware scaler really sucks. What? They did not include one? How the hell do you put out a system that is supposed to be ‘True-HD’ and not include that? Was cost the issue? Now the only way to fix it is through firmware updates, and doing it through software takes some of your CPU power away. Here is a quick solution. Get rid of the PS2 hardware (doesn’t work right anyway), emulate any PS2 games that people want to through software as it shouldn’t make a difference, and take that cost savings and put in a hardware scaler. You may even save some money that way and be able to help fix the next problem.

Price. I know it’s a vicious circle. They can only lower the price if they are making it up in software sales, developers won’t put out games because they are not selling enough consoles because of the high price and the launch problems. Well they have deep pockets and if they really wanted Blu-Ray to win this war they would drop the price and take more of a hit. It will even out later and they will control the HD standard, however long that lasts. Just lower the price, sell them like mad for a year because you need to catch up!

Public Relations. Talk about foot-in-mouth disease. What they hell is wrong with these people? Is anyone in charge over there? It’s time to implement a gag order with resulting termination if it is broken. Don’t say anything else. You will get better press by being silent than with what you have been doing. Just shut up and make some good games! No more interviews. No more fake blogs or websites or anything else. Shhhh.

A year and a half ago, Playstation was king. Actually, the PS2 would still qualify as the console leader right now. But the Playstation name is being dragged through a lot of mud. Sony needs to pick it up and clean it off before it becomes permanently stained.

Sony really needs to get it's act together quick...

2007-01-14T12:06:00.000-08:00

Please Sony, you need to get yourselves back on your horse. You need to introduce a gag order to the entire compnay regarding the PS3 and fix this situation. Normally I enjoy a good Sony bashing, but it's getting out of hand. We, as gamers, need Sony to get their houes in order. If Sony fails, it is only bad news for us.

If the PS3 is not a contender this round, what do we have to look forward to? I know a lot of people will say the Wii, and it seems like a fun little toy. But one screw up by Nintendo and thats exactly what it will be reduced to. A toy. Something that is fun for the kids, and gets played at party's by drunk people. C'mon, you know as well as I do that anyone who considers themselves a hardcore gamer is not going to have a Wii as their primary console.

Then you have the Xbox 360. Very nice thing to play on, live is fantastic and they already have a bunch of new games. But this is Microsoft here. If history shows us anything, it's that when Microsoft is the leader they slow down. They stop improving, there is no innovation. It's only when they are the under-dog that they reallt come out swinging. With no Sony to worry about, there is no reason for them to keep making games like GOW or Halo.

So there is really only one game in town if Sony can't pull itself our of this rut, and that is bad news for us gamers. And this is really hard for me, someone who is consistantly bashing Sony. But this time we need them.

Hot Pic of the Day

2007-01-14T12:01:00.001-08:00

Hot Pic of the Day

2007-01-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

Hot Pic of the Day

2007-01-10T20:52:00.000-08:00

Hot Pic of the Day

2007-01-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

So you think you are a gamer?

2007-01-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

This is a pretty fun quiz, not sure how scientific it is. It does cover a broad range of gaming questions. I got 82%, but I am not much of a PC gamer so I had to make guesses on those questions.

Still, not a bad way to waste 5 minutes.

-| Click here to take the gamer quiz! |-

An indepth analysis of Fanboy Wars

2007-01-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Holy shit man, there must not be very much news today. Who the fuck is this guy to try and figure out why fanboys are fanboys? Who cares! Let them be, they need to exist in order to supply videogame forums with posts, and possibly create news for blogs and news sites.

People need to feel that what they bought is the best, and that any compnay that treats them bad is the worst. It's not like we just pick a random side, it's ingrained in us from youth. When we first got an Xbox 360, we thought it was awesome. My son was so proud and told all his friends at school. They all said it was crap and that playstation was better. You know why? Who cares, the guy who wrote this junk uses words like 'splain. Do I need to say anything else? Now for a picture of a hot chick to make you feel better.

-| Piece of shit post on destructoid |-

Dreamcast: Still Strong in 2007

2007-01-07T18:24:00.000-08:00

Was there a better system ever than the Sega Dreamcast? I loved it, it always worked, and the games were great. Much better than the majority of crap we get these days.

"What better way to ring in the new year then with news of a new release for every ones favorite console? It appears as if the Dreamcast has out lived the Gamecube, which is pretty surprising since Dreamcast had it’s gravestone carved back in 2002, a few months after Gamecube was released.

The newest game to hit Dreamcast is Karous (Japanese for Crow) which being ported from it’s NAOMI Arcade counterpart. Karous, set for release on 3/8, joins Trigger Heart Exelica (2/22) and Last Hope (1/??) as the first Dreamcast games of 2007. All of them happen to be Top-Down Shooters (or SHMUPS/Shoot Em’ Ups) which has been common with more recent release Dreamcast games."

-| Full story on SegaNerds |-

Xbox 360 games to look forward to in 2007

2007-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

This is a fantastic write-up of the games for the Xbox 360 to look forward to in 2007. I was going to do a write up on this, but eurogamer just did such a good job I might as well send you to them to read it.

"The Xbox 360 is a good place to start. With a full year in the market under its belt, and with gamers still reeling from a stunning display of software at X06 this autumn, Microsoft's pitch for market leadership is looking stronger than ever - and however the console wars may turn out this time (I don't know, and I don't care - and neither do you, nor should you), the Xbox 360 looks like leaving a lasting legacy of amazing games."

-| Full list on Eurogamer |-

Geek Girl of the Month: Nikole

2007-01-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

Here is the Geek Girl of the month from Geekzine. Her name is Nikole. She is very hot. Spelling her name with a 'K' makes her even more hot. Plus she plays video games and like Star Trek. Why can I not find a girl like this? There must be more out there. Go check her out.

-| Check her out at Geekzine |-

Top Ten Hottest Girl Gamers

2007-01-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

The title just about says it all. Not only are they gamers, they are hot... and they are girls! Really, go check it out for yourselves...

-| Full story on Game Lemons |-

PS3 sucks on purpose... it all makes sence now?

2006-12-28T16:54:00.000-08:00

See? We were all wrong. It's 'supposed' to freeze up like that so we don't get to much sony awesomeness at one time. Man do I feel dumb. I should have realized Sony was only looking out for our best interests. Thank you Sony, we love you.

"So dude over there," I said pointing to the busy clerk, "says he keeps the kiosk off because it keeps freezing up."

"Nope. No it doesn't."

"Well, actually, yeah. It does. I've seen it happen myself."

"No. It doesn't. We did that on purpose," he said.

"You make the entire console lock up on purpose because ... why?"

"We do that so that people won't play it all day long," he explained. "Specifically during Motorstorm, we made it freeze up a lot."

-| Full story at Destructoid |-

My kid sucks at video games...

2006-12-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, maybe thats a bit harsh. He doesn't suck at all games. He is good at all games made since he started playing a few years ago. He can play Halo no problem.

So I spent the 400 points on Contra so I could show him how simple games were when I was his age, and we could play together.

He sucks. Absolutley the worst Contra player I have ever seen. It's like he could not understand the concept of not getting hit. If I did not have the 30 life code for him, he would be dead in the first minute. It was truly horrible.

It was like he could not understand the concept of not having sheilds or a life bar. No matter how many times I explained that you can't touch anything or you die. He would jump onto enemies and die. Jump onto the very slow moving bullets and die. Fire, he would try and run through. Explosions, he would try to hide in. WTF?

Games these days are just to easy, when Contra can confuse someone who can easily beat Halo, we are spoling these kids!

*Website Review - John Chow dot Com

2006-12-21T05:44:00.000-08:00

John Chow dot Com is a site I stumbled upon a few months back while searching for ways to improve, and possibly make a little cash from this site. I've always been able to get copies of games and such to review, but never cash. I had never actually heard of John Chow, his blog or his other sites before, but now I am a regular reader.

As his tag line says, it really is the ramblings of a dot com mogul. He writes a lot about how to improve your site in order to take full advantage of programs like Google AdWords. I have personally followed some of his advice and my results are improving. If you have a blog or site, and are trying to find ways to generate some income from it, check out his posts the category 'The Net'.

Being as this site is also full of his ramblings, you will also find information about new technology such as the worlds most high tech urinal. You see, you need to be a mogul of some kind to have the time to research weird stuff like this, but it is usually interesting :)

Then there is the food. I'm not sure why, but John likes to take pictures of his meals. Then he takes those pictures and puts them on his blog. It is actually quite annoying as I am usually reading it at 10 in the morning and I am starting to get hungry. The last thing I need at that time is pictures of food I cannot have. As he is pure evil, I think he secretly means to do this.

So if you are a blogger, and you have any interest in improving, promoting or possibly making a little cash from you blog, check out John's blog. The information is good and easy to understand, and the writing is interesting and won't put you to sleep.

Call of Duty 3 patched, new maps inbound

2006-12-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

"The Call of Duty 3 Multiplayer Team released its Xbox 360 patch today, addressing Ranked and Player Match issues. The fix-up seems in part to be preparation for a map pack release expected after the holidays. With its multiplayer better intact, Activision hopes to build on the small fortune its amassed selling COD-related premium content to Xbox Live users."

-| Full story on joystiq |-

Halo documentary shows off the Brute to good effect

2006-12-20T16:52:00.000-08:00

"So the Bungie video documentary is out! The best way to view it is to download it via Xbox Live and enjoy some big screen action in 720p, but PC-centric people in the audience can find it at GameVideos.com. The video is called "Et Tu, Brute?" Not surprisingly, the video is about the Brute and his place in the Halo universe. Give it a watch, it's worth your time."

-| Full story on Ars |-

GOTW - Amanda Beard

2006-12-19T19:11:00.000-08:00

Sony can't even give them away now???

2006-12-19T18:48:00.000-08:00

It looks like people are even willing to take a loss just to get rid of them. Seems pretty strange considering this is the busiest season for buying and KEEPING things like this. I mean I thought it was not going to do well, but I did not expect it to be this bad. Poor guys.

- Link to Ebay Pricing -

Sony Screws Up

2006-12-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah I know, more sony bashing, but what can we do?

"Alliwantforxmasisapsp.comwas a marketing campaign fronted as an independent blog, whose authors supposedly had a friend (“Jeremy”) that wanted a PSP for Christmas.

Suspicious net-goers, however, found that the website was registered to a marketing company called Zipatoni, which has offices in St. Louis, Chicago and San Francisco. The firm was also behind a related YouTube video featuring a guy referred to as “Cousin Pete” who was rapping about the handheld. Sony's PlayStation brand is listed on the "clients" page of Zipatoni's website."

- Full story at Business Week -

HOW TO BLOW A HUGE LEAD, by Sony

2006-12-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I can't resist a good story bashing Sony just a little bit...

"Its PlayStation 2 was the champ in the last round of the console wars. This time Sony bet on a chip called the Cell and a disc format called Blu-ray. They're probably awesome, but how would anybody know? The PS3 is hideously expensive--it goes for up to $600--and Sony manufactured only a piddling few hundred thousand for the U.S., fewer for Japan. Plus it's hard to write games for; the launch titles were lame."

-| Full story on TIME.com |-

Merry Christmas...

2006-12-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

My Girlfriend is a vegetable...

2006-12-12T12:30:00.000-08:00

This is something I wrote a long time ago. I'm posting it because I can...

Well, my Grrrlfriend is a vegetarian, and I am not. So I thought I would write a little guide to the do's/do not's of living with a vegetarian, which can be quite tricky at times.

1. Vegetarians really do like meat, they are just really stubborn people, that like to be different. My GF constantly dreams about meatlovers pizza from pizza hut. DO NOT take your 'partner' to pizza hut after they tell you this and order a meat lover pizza while they are stuck eating some wet noodles and spinich. It really screws them up.

2. If per chance you do order a meat lovers pizza, DO NOT do any of the following things. a) Moan with pleasure with every bite. b) Pick off all the different types of meat and explain where is came from and talk to it, and make the sounds of the animal it came from. c) Roll some of the little sausage ball things towards them, and then wonder aloud how they got there.

3. Don't keep meat in the house. They can sense it and will always find it no matter where you hide it. They claim that they found it cause it stinks, but we all know that they could smell the blood and tore up the house looking for it in a primal-hunter sort of rage.

4. When you see a cow/pig/chicken, whatever, do not look at it, drool and say 'Hey, that guy looks pretty good, wonder if he would miss a leg or two'... not a good thing to do...

5. P.E.T.A stands for 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals'... not 'People Eat Tasty Animals'... don't get these two mixed up...

By following these simple rules, you should be able to survive living with a vegitarian... but you prolly won't... in any case, say good-bye to those wonderful BBQ's...

Frag Dolls

2006-11-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

I'm tired, so I will leave you with a picture of the frag dolls. You don't care what they look like do you?

I know you respect their gaming skills and that's all, nothing to do with them being ~~eye candy~~ sexual objects right?

Castlevania will not be coming to the Wii

2006-11-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is exactly what I was wondering about earlier. How soon will the motion gimmick get old to developers? Well, it looks like it over before it even began with some. This is not to say that I am against it. But really, how long is the motion thing going to keep people from noticing how old the hardware in it is?

“For me, the Nintendo Wii controller doesn’t yet connect with the core gameplay of Castlevania. I definitely don’t want to make a game with gimmicky controls where you swing the controller like a whip…”

|| Full story on You NEWB ||

Playstation 3 vs. XBOX 360 - A Game Developer's Perspective

2006-11-20T11:40:00.000-08:00

Another great article, the answers will NOT surprise you...

"Being a video game developer (I develop for both, Playstation 3 and XBOX 360) people ask me almost daily which platform I think is better. These are my personal feelings, in no way does this reflect my employer."

Playstation 3 vs. XBOX 360 - Full Story on hardCOREware.net

A Weekend Full of "Quality" Time With PlayStation 3

2006-11-20T11:01:00.000-08:00

Hot Damn, I wish I could print this out, roll it up and smack every sony fanboy on the noce with it. If you couldn't see this coming you have been living under a rock for the past year. Sony of old is gone, replaced by it's retarded uncle who everyone laughs at during party's. I'm sorry if you got stuck with one of these, if you hurry you may still be able to offload it on ebay.

"Howard Stringer, you have a problem. Your company’s new video game system just isn’t that great.

Ever since Mr. Stringer took the helm last year at Sony, the struggling if still formidable electronics giant, the world has been hearing about how the coming PlayStation 3 would save the company, or at least revitalize it. Even after Microsoft took the lead in the video-game wars a year ago with its innovative and powerful Xbox 360, Sony blithely insisted that the PS3 would leapfrog all competition to deliver an unsurpassed level of fun.

Put bluntly, Sony has failed to deliver on that promise."

Full Story at the New York Times

Sony's Playstation 3 is Not Worth the Hype

2006-11-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

"The Playstation 3 goes on sale in the U.S. today, but I wouldn't recommend buying one, not even for the regular price, which is plenty expensive without the import markup. Sure, the Playstation 2 was the bestselling machine from the previous generation, and sure, the Playstation3 is powered by a stupendously powerful chip, the "Cell processor." (I'm sorry, but naming a computer chip is like naming your genitals: you're compensating for something.) Patience, young padawan. The time has not yet come."

Full Story on TIME.com

Every game in the world is broken…

2006-11-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

It’s true; every game in the world is broken. Well, every First Person Shooter is. Every FPS that you can play on-line is anyway. I’ve learned this over the past couple of months as I really like FPS games on Xbox Live. They are quick and a great way to relieve some stress.

My question is how developers let games get released that are so broken. They are so full of bugs it boggles my mind. Let’s take a recent game of Call of Duty 3 for example. Here is a list of bugs that I found out by listening to everyone else on my team.

1. The other team can shoot through trees.

2. The other team can shoot through cover; as multiple times my team mates noted they were totally covered but got shot anyway.

3. The other team is invincible.

4. It takes like 50 bullets to kill someone on the other team, but only one to kill us.

5. The other team is cheap and full of snipers.

6. Stupid medics and their stupid shotguns suck, how the hell do they get behind you that easy?

7. Smoke grenades are for cheaters and/or gays.
8. WTF? How the hell? I’m gonna kill that ass! This game sucks so bad! FUCK!!!

9. The guys on the other team can survive direct shots from a tank.

10. Fucking snipers!!! I hate you all!!!

11. The other team can take a rocket and not die, but we get killed by a strong wind.

12. Canadians have to burn their wives for heat.

13. FPS games turn most people into racists, bigots, or haters of some kind.

14. They other team can take like 5 shots with a sniper rifle and still not die.

15. The enemy always spawns right on your head with their gun already firing.

16. There is no way they could have survived that.

17. Apparently all outr teams bullet are made of paper or cotton balls.

18. The other team always wins because they have more people.

19. The other team always wins because they have less people, so there are less targets for us to shoot.

20. The developers all need to die, they better not have their address on the internet because I’ll go on mapquest and hunt them down.

That’s just Call of Duty 3. You can find similar bugs in all the other broken on-line FPS games. Actually, I think some of these were in Call of Duty 2. I can’t believe they didn’t fix them yet. Those developers are lucky I don’t have their addresses…

Gears of War is a very awesome game. Go get a set of balls.

2006-11-10T06:55:00.000-08:00

And the award for the most un-manly thing said in a video game reveiw goes to... Ben Kuchera of Arstechnica!! Here is a sample from an article I thought was first written by an easily scared amish woman.

"After playing, I feel wrung out and a little deadened by the experience. I feel like I should spend an hour or so hugging a puppy to get the desperation of the Gears of War world out of my system. Hello Kitty Island Adventure sounds like a lot of fun right about now..."

WTF? A war game that makes you feel like you are in the war and you are complaining? Maybe it would make you feel better if Mario and Sonic made a cameo to cheer up the Gears? I think it's time for you to get up and grow a set.

Original girly story here.

How has Xbox Live made things worse?

2006-11-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

Most people know what positive things Xbox Live has done for gaming. Voice chat, friend lists, downloadable demos, Live arcade. It has been fantastic and I’m sure there is more stuff in coming down the pipe for us.

What about the things that it has made worse? I know these things are relatively small right now compared to the benefits, but that might not always be the case. Let’s take a quick look at them.

1 Paying for cheats. This is a very slimy money grab. Cheats should not be something to make money off of! Imagine if you got charged money everything you pressed up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A?

2. Paying for unlockables. OK, I see the lazy people, or the people with no time on their hands doing this. But if you can use paid for weapons or vehicles or whatever in multiplayer than that is just dirty. I can see EA jumping all over this, charging $5 for the ultimate weapon or car and if you don’t have it you will get smoked every time. They will justify it by making it unlockable in the game, but only after like 100 hours of play without losing a life or some other insane thing.

3. Jackasses. I know, this is nothing new. But why is there almost always some Jackass spouting off in almost every game on live? And why are they almost always gay? I don’t know for sure that they are, but 95% of the time the first thing they start talking about is penis’s and what they want all the other guys to do to theirs, or their fathers cocks. Do they have nothing better to do than proposition other guys on Xbox Live?

And there is nothing you can do about it. Use your superior intelligence to make them look stupid so they leave the game, and they go leave you bad reputation. You can’t win.

4B. Unfinished games. This is really starting to show itself, I noticed it even more while playing Call of Duty 3. Developers are putting out games that are not finished. This should simply be unacceptable to us. Developers should not be allowed to fix things after they have already been sold because they needed to meet a deadline. There should be some sort of penalty or rebate if this happens to deter companies from releasing unfinished or poorly tested games.

4B. Not everyone is connected. This is a small one, and ties into the previous point. What about the people not on Xbox Live. How do they get their updates? How do their unfinished games get fixed? How about every company that releases a unfinished game has to provide update CD’s to anyone that requests it? I’m sure that will increase the quality of releases quite a lot.

There may be other points that I am missing right now, I’ll add them as I think of them. As always, e-mail me anything I’ve missed or gotten wrong so I can fix it.

Call of Duty 3, a first glance... Good, but not great...

2006-11-07T19:54:00.000-08:00

I really liked Call of Duty 2, I was hoping to get the same out of Call of Duty 3. Actually, it was kind of disappointing. Not in a major way, just a lot of little things that need more polishing.

Here are a few examples:

1. You can't shoot your own team. I know, that sounds great. But if you are shooting at a horde of germans, and one of your soldiers passes your line of fire, you will stop shooting. You have to let go of the trigger and pull it again to continue shooting. And you soldiers are constantly running in front of you. I thought I would get used to it, but nope, not yet. It is very annoying.

2. Your soldiers are idiots. They will box you in constanly, push you out into enemy fire and generally annoy you. The will push you around even more when it's a hard firefight as they run around more frantically.

3. Collision with objects. This is utter crap. I should not get help up by a twig or small log. I should be able to jump or climb up anything 3 feet or under. I should not get stuck on anything you can possible think of. Go off the path and find a small 4 inch hole? Whoops, you might get stuck in it and have to restart from the last checkpoint.

4. German voices. Exact same as Call of duty 2. Almost every german phrase you here shouted during the game is probably done by the same guy, reading the same script.

All of this combined really bring down the experience. It really is starting to get sad when we have to wait until the first patch of a game for it to really be good.

OPEN MESSAGE TO GAME COMPANIES: I am available to test your games for you. It seems you have not been doing it very much. I could tell the major flaws with this game after a very short time with it. So either you are not testing, or you testers need to go back to their other job collecting shopping carts at the mall. Hire me instead!

Microsoft Unveils the Video Marketplace

2006-11-06T19:56:00.001-08:00

Not ready to pick sides in the upcoming HD format war? Maybe you don't have to just yet. On November 22nd, Microsoft is launching the video marketplace for Xbox Live. This new service will allow Xbox 360 owners with access to a high speed internet connection to download a variety of HD and standard definition video content to their consoles and view it on their television. That means all Xbox 360 owners with an HDTV will have access to HD movies, regardless of whether they own an HD-DVD or Blu-Ray player. It doesn't end with movies, though. The video marketplace will also feature television shows, music videos and game videos to purchase with Microsoft points. The service will be available to both Xbox Live Silver and Gold members and promises over 1,000 hours of unique content by the end of the year, with at least 200 of that available in both standard and hi-definition.

Full story on IGN

Microsoft Unveils the Video Marketplace

2006-11-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

Is Borat really the best we have to offer?

2006-11-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

Seriously, is this it? Have we reached our artistic peak? Is this the best our western culture can give us for entertainment?

How in the hell is this the current number one movie? Wait, before I continue, this is NOT a review of the Borat movie, nor is it a piece bashing the Borat movie. I’m sure it is funny and delivers exactly what people expect it to so don’t go crazy thinking I’m, against Borat, or the movie. OK? No need to e-mail me telling me how this movie is better than your first born child mixed with sexy ice cream.

Good. The point of this is to question if a movie about an inept newsman from Kazakhstan is the best thing this culture can produce? I am not even 30 yet but I remember a time when movies had a story to them. Making a funny movie took talent and a great sense of humour. Now all it takes is being a jackass, or having a moustache and an accent.

Maybe this is just what has become of our culture. Having a good storyline, some substance, plot or good actors all seems to be fading away so we can laugh at idiots or people pretending to be idiots. Did we really need a second Jackass movie?

Or maybe I’m just longing for the days of Flight of the Navigator and The Last Star Fighter.

Lets blame Mainstream Media instead...

2006-11-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

I did not want to have to write this but it needs to be said. Mainstream media should not be allowed to write on technology issues. Not computers, not gaming, not the internet. The amount of misinformation that is handed out by MSM on a daily basis is sickening. It’s gotten to the point where I am actually getting angry the crap being put out by mainstream “journalists”.

I understand that a story that instills fear sells more than a story that tells of the good something does. But just pure lies and twisting the truth should not be tolerated any longer as normal people don’t know any better. You may say that the TV news does it all the time, but normal people take the “toilet paper may kill you!!! Find out how at 11!” hook line with a grain of salt. But that is not the case when it comes to technology as normal people just don’t know enough about it yet.

It’s this unknown or fear of technology that the mainstream is taking advantage of. Anyone reading this site probably knows what I am talking about. Remember all the stories that came out when someone claimed there kid was harassed through their Nintendo DS. How it is an evil machine and if your kids uses it they will get sucked through the screen into a perverts dungeon. I’m not trying to make light of REAL situations like that, but not this made up news to sell papers and advertisements.

Do I really need to mention good ‘ol Jack Thompson’s crusade against video games? The amount of FUD he throws around trying to get video games included as one of the sever deadly sins is amazing. Shall we just leave this one untouched as I’m sure we could all spend days discussing this guy.

Now, let’s talk about the greatest demon of all time. The Internet. According to some media it’s the biggest mistake we have ever made. It’s nothing but trash and filth and is ruining our kids. They have experts come in and talk about how in 1995 they predicted that the internet would be the collapse of human communication. How the term ‘on-line community’ is an oxymoron. How our kids are all in danger now and 1 in 5 kids will be propositioned by a pervert on-line.

It’s all the internets fault. My kid is fat because he spends all day on the internet. My kid is spending all day in chat rooms and now has a 49 pervert sending them love letters.

The problem is that because there are a few idiots in the world that let their 10 year olds do whatever they want on the computer without any supervision. Then they play the victim and blame the easiest thing. Mainstream media runs with this one for all it’s worth.

What’s the solution to this? How can we make sure that people who are not very technical get their information from places like Slashdot or Arstechnica? Or better yet, why do they not go their yet? The answer is simple as the linux question. Tech news is designed for tech users. So what have I learned from thinking about this? Not much, the mainstream media is not going to take any responsibility to try and educate, and the tech sites are too complicated until they are educated a little more. That is quite disappointing.

Screw it, let;s just go have a beer and forget about it. Oh, sorry about the pic at the top, I couldn't think of any image that would represent the story

November Contest - Stacked - Entry Details

2006-11-02T13:55:00.000-08:00

Novembers contest on cramit is for a copy of "Stacked with Daniel Negreanu" for the PSP. There are a few different ways to enter:

1. Just send an e-mail to cramitwithwalnuts@gmail.com. Mention that you are entering the november contest, and let me know if you want to be notified of future contests.

2. Contribute something. For everything you contribute, your name will be entered again. There is no limit, but I reserve the right to choose if it's good enough for the site. Also, if it is found out that any entry has been copied, all entries will be removed by that person.

3. Send a picture of yourself promoting the site. The more interesting or entertaining, the more times I will put your name in.

4. Girls. Get a pic of your girlfriend, or if you are a girl, a picture of yourself promoting this site. The hotter the better, nothing too crude.

So, send all entries, or questions to cramitwithwalnuts@gmail.com

The Wii is not the answer to all your problems...

2006-11-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

Please don’t take this the wrong way. The Wii is not that fantastic, at least not as great as some people would like you to believe. It is not going to “Kill the Xbox 360 and the PS3”. It is not revolutionizing the gaming industry. And yes, things will still be the same after a few months of it being out in the wild.

*Just a quick note so that no tendo-boys try and kill me. I do like Nintendo, I will be getting a Wii, and we will be reviewing anything from them we can get our hands on.

**Another note, I refuse to use the word ‘Wii’ to replace the word we in a sentence to try and seem witty or funny. It’s not, and anybody who says or does otherwise is an ass.

The Wii is cheaper. Which is a very strong point when it comes to selling to the non-gamer. But if you look at the difference in power to price between an Xbox 360, and a Nintendo Wii, are you really getting your moneys worth? I don’t know what the percentage of power difference is between the two systems, but I bet it does not reflect in the price.

But who actually spends cash the video game industry relies on? The hardcore gamers. The gamecube did not make as many games aimed at the hardcore gamer. We all know what happened there. I can see the media frenzy and the new controller selling a lot more units initially, but are casual gamers and old people really going to spend the cash that gamers spend? Not a chance. They need people like me. The people with more games than time to ever play them. The people who still have games in shrink wrap waiting for a chance to be played.

The Wii’s controller is revolutionary; it’s going to change gaming. Well, it’s going to change the way you CAN play games. But is that really what we want? Now, I have to mention that I am biased because I play a lot of first person shooters, and I just don’t see any benefits the Wii controller has over an almost perfect Xbox 360 controller. At least for my specific gaming. I think it might actually make it worse, but I will have to wait and see. If I wanted to be physically involved in a game, I would just go outside and throw a ball instead of standing in my living room making awkward gestures at my TV while my neighbors stream my shenanigans to YouTube.

The Wii will Kill the Xbox 360 and the PS3. The Xbox 360 is made for a hardcore gamer, and is already out, already has a ton of games, and has gears of war and Halo. Even though I dislike Sony, PS3 has the playstation name. Unless it bursts into flames it will sell. Their fan boys are like gay guys, they are always getting fucked in the ass but they keep coming back for more (yeah, that might be in bad taste, but it’s better than the retards comparison I was going to go with).

All I’m trying to say here is that although the Wii is going to be great, and I see it being successful as well, it’s not going to cure your cold and get you a date.

Remember the Power Glove?

Are the people at Sony idiots, or are they really evil geniuses?

2006-11-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

Over the last year, we have all watched Sony make a complete ass of it’s self. There is not much more they could have done it ruin their reputation. Root kits, broken promises and the fact that someone in the company makes the most ridiculous statements weekly have led us all to think Sony is a big joke.

Or is this all part of their evil genius plan? Think about it for a second. They have basically put all their eggs in one basket with the PS3. If it is as successful as the PS2, they will own the videogame and optical media market. So how do they get us all to watch and wait for the PS3 like they were giving birth to Jesus? Plus, how do they lower our expectations so much that anything more than Kaz shitting in a box and calling it a PS3 will impress the hell out of us?

Well, don’t you think they have already done that? If the PS3 is even remotely competent at what it does, it’s going to get fantastic reviews as it will be the first good thing from Sony in over a year. All they need is for the machine to actually work and it will get all the good press it needs to make everyone want one.

But at the same time they have put themselves in a position where is has to work perfectly. The first time it freezes up, the first time is over heats, the first game that is buggy, the first update that messes up and the entire community will be in ‘I told you so’ mode.

Even though I do not care for Sony products or the company, I hope they do well. Competition in any industry is a good thing for us. Although having to listen to Sony fan boys saying they were right all along might not be worth it.

November Contest

2006-11-02T04:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, you heard right! We will be having a contest every month from now on. The prize will be a game, or something related to gaming like... controllers or poker sets... we haven't decided yet. Anyway, entering will be simple, the rules and prize information will be posted later today! Make sure to tell your mom!

That grrrl has CD's on her boobs. I'm going to see if I can get my girlfriend to do the same pose so I can post the pics here.

Halloween Gaming News???

2006-10-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those days when you just don't want to do anything? When all the news looks exactly the same no matter where you look? When you couldn't possibly read another story about Sony screwing up again? Me too! It's today, so instead here are some pics of good, or not so good halloween costumes... I'll let you be the judge...
I know this is not a halloween costume, I just like asian mushrooms...

Watch out for this green ass, he will try and poke you with his head gear

Now, help me out here. Is this supposed to be sexy or scary. I have to admit that I'm not sure...

Even though she has back problems at such a young age, I still think she looks nice.

I've seen lots of Star Wars costumes as I waited in line for hours when the first 3 were re-released on the big screen, but this is a new one...

Super Girl... nice...

Space Invader Panties???

2006-10-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

Not sure why I am hearing and seeing so much about gaming clothes for women, but it's got to be a good thing right? Does it mean gamers are finally cool or is it just a way for clothing companies to tease us into thinking we are cool enough to get girls that would wear stuff like that?

Battlefield 2142 With a Dash of Spyware

2006-10-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Does this take the cake? I'm not sure what that means, but if by 'cake' I mean my right to not have spyware installed, and by 'this' you mean EA, then yes. It does indeed take the cake. Why don't you just shit in the game box and show your customers what you really think of them. Just when you think no one could get worse then sony, EA comes running out to make sure you know they are asses too.

Link to Story on Kotaku

2006-10-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica - Boomer looks nice on fur...

2006-10-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica - Oh my god, there are two of them... nice...

2006-10-17T18:39:00.001-07:00

Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica - She fell down...

2006-10-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica - It must be really warm because she has no shirt!!!

2006-10-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica - Sitting on a chair, and it looks like she forgot to do her buttons up

The PS3 $600 price. It's fine, would you get over it already?

2006-10-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

Enough already. It's more expensive than an Xbox 360 and a Wii. I get it. We all know why it's more expensive. It has a Blu-ray drive. So you get a game system, and a Blu-ray player all in one.

Lets go back a second to 1991. I little system called the 3DO came out and sold very well. It was $699. In 1991. Now you are bitching about $600 in 2006? C'mon people. You can do better than that. I'm no fan of Sony and even I think the price is fine for what you get. If you don't want a Blu-ray player, then get an Xbox 360 as games are too expensive to make to be exclusive on just one console anymore. Although there will be a few franchise exceptions like Halo 3.

Anyway, there is so much more that sony is screwing up. Go pick one of those things and stop about the price already. That horse has been dead for a long time now.

Hands-on with Bully from Rockstar

2006-10-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

Uh, I think that pic is from some movie called Bully, but who cares. It's a better pic than the one I had anyway.

After reading this, it doesn't sound half bad. They say it's not a GTA clone which is good as although I enjoy the GTA series, we don't need another clone righ now. This one is all about choice. And actually, so are the other GTA games. You don't have to be as violent to complete the games, it's all about choice. Anyway, go read the review.

"You can be as good or as bad as you'd like, the game doesn't judge. You can show up to class on time and help your fellow students, or you can fight with the prefects and pick on the other kids. This game is a mirror about how you'd like to go through school, if you had the chance to do it over again. Bully is like school: scary, violent, funny, and lighthearted all at once. It's a mess of contradictions, and if that isn't high school I don't know what is."

Full review on Ars